


Letters

by MV7



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22891012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MV7/pseuds/MV7
Summary: Rey and Ben have been broken up for years. They haven't seen each other in awhile but faith brings them back together.After a disastrous week of seeing each other after years apart, Ben receives letters that Rey had wrote but never meant to give.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this is my first post ever. I’ve had multiple ideas in my head for a very long time but I finally had the courage to post something I wrote. Pls comment what you think, opinions/constructive criticism is welcome!  
> Pls note, I’ve had no lessons in creative writing, this is amateur hour.
> 
> I’ve been working on a short story centering around a break-up. This is an excerpt of the story I’ve been working on. Enjoy!

— Present time — 

“Maybe it’s not my place but it’s difficult to see two people I care about hurt. Here,” Poe said as he was handing Ben a stack of letters. “Rey wrote a bunch of letters to you and never mailed or bothered to give them to you. She was drunk one night and gave them to me and Finn, she told me when the time was right I’ll know what to do,” continued Poe. He sighed and continued to stare at Ben, watching him hold onto the letters tightly. “Look, she wasn’t herself when she wrote these letters, she was at her lowest and poured her heart and pain over paper.”

Ben’s grip on the letters tightened, closing his eyes shut and letting out a shaky breath. “How do you know she’d want you to give me these letters?” Ben asked as he opened his eyes to peak at Poe’s reaction. 

“I don’t know, she probably forgot she handed them to me. But after seeing this week unfold, I think it’ll do you good to read her thoughts. I’m not trying to call you selfish, you’ve both done a lot in the past to hurt each other. But you keep trying to apologize without taking a second to understand what you’re apologizing for. Yes, you left her. Yes, you broke her heart. But how did that affect her day to day, how did it affect her after? You can’t just keep apologizing and not understand what you’re apologizing for. Read the letters Ben and then talk to her,” Poe said. Ben nodded and murmured a “Thanks” as Poe got up to leave. 

After a moment of jumbled thoughts, Ben began to open the first letter on the top of the pile. He took a deep breath and began to read. 

_October 17, 2018_  
_Ben,_  
_Okay, I don’t know what I can do to fix this or even if it’s fixable. It’s clear to me now that maybe you’re not upset anymore but simply don’t care._  
_I’m sure these past couple of days have been normal for you. You’ve probably just been going through them unbothered. Meanwhile I've been crying every day wondering what I did wrong and what I can do to fix it._  
_Ideally I want to have a conversation in person but I know that you’re long gone. I’ve been beating myself up for the past 7 days and I need to know if you still care._  
_\- Rey_

Ben’s hands were shaking. The first letter was dated 7 days after he broke Rey’s heart and jumped on the first plane to San Francisco. Leaving his New York life behind and the girl he loves. He tore the second letter open and began to read.

_October 24, 2018_  
_Ben,_  
_I miss you. I wish I could call you and tell you how sorry I am but I can’t. I don’t want to push you further away than you already are._  
_I’m so sad right now, I wish you were here. I finally unblocked your number to see if you tried to message me, to see if you cared. When I saw that you had messaged me two days ago, that was the happiest I’ve been in awhile. When I finally messaged you back earlier tonight, it was to see if you still cared. I tried to get your attention with a lame joke and your response was ‘okay.’ At least it wasn’t a ‘fuck you’ or you blocking my number. Tonight was the second time I’ve been a little happy in the last two weeks. But it only lasts a second._  
_I’m only happy because it gives me hope, the slightest hope that one day you’ll find your way back to me._  
_I will always love you. I know whatever I feel for you now will never compare to any relationship after._  
_I understand now that whatever happens in the future— I have to live with it. I’m going to have to live my life without you. That I’ll have to find happiness in other things that won’t revolve or include you._  
_But I know it’ll be impossible to ever truly be happy without you with me._  
_\- Rey_

Ben wiped his tears that were falling down his cheeks. ’Poe was right, I had no idea the hurt I put Rey through,’ Ben thought. He had always thought that the decision to leave Rey was for the better. That he was spiraling out of control and hurting Rey in the process, that leaving her was going to be the best decision for her and asking her to move to San Francisco was out of the question. With all the fights nearing their end, Ben believed that Rey didn’t love him anymore and anything left in their relationship was Rey’s attachment from knowing Ben her whole life. 

_November 2, 2018_  
_Ben,_  
_It’s been 20 or so days. It feels like forever since I’ve spoken to you and I miss you more each day. You’d think with time, it’d make it better, more bearable — it doesn’t._  
_In my head you’ve already moved on. You’re living your life without me apart of it. I’m not sure how much of that is true because we haven’t spoken to each other. But from the last time we’ve talked, I gathered you don’t care much about me._

Ben remembered how in a moment of weakness he called Rey after a month into their breakup. It had been 12am PST and was 3am EST when he called. Rey had been groggy when she answered the phone but immediately cleared the sleepiness out of her voice when she realized it was Ben who was calling. He was weak and wanted to hear her voice. The conversation had started fine until he realized he began to lower his walls. He turned back to his asshole self and began to act as his San Francisco life was better and he was never coming back to New York. He was stupid enough to talk about how pretty the girls were, to hurt Rey into thinking he was moving on. When in reality, Ben was a mess and didn’t so much as look at another woman who wasn’t Rey. He sighed and continued to read Rey’s letter.  


_I would have done anything and everything for you. I would have moved my entire life to be where you are. I wanted to build a future with you. I would have left the city that I love so much if it meant I got to be with you for the rest of my life._   
_\- Rey_

Ben felt sick to his stomach as he read Rey’s truth. Reading the raw emotion that she spilled onto paper. He tilt his head back and looked up to the sky, wishing the universe would swallow him whole. Ben knew Rey was strong but reading these letters that weren’t met for his eyes, he realized that he had truly broke her. Coming to realization the hurt he put her through and the aftermath that followed. He shuffled through the stack of letters and skipped to the last one, tearing it open to continue to read Rey’s thoughts.

_January 17, 2019_  
_Ben,_  
_I’ve completed my first Holiday without you. I’ve practically known you my entire life and spent every waking moment with you. This is the last letter I’m going to write, the last hope before I lock you in a box and keep you there forever._  
_To my dearest Ben, you’d always make some comment about us getting married even when we were kids with no idea how the world worked. I’d laugh it off and pretend to be disgusted by the idea. As we grew older and our relationship developed into something more, I realized the comment was no longer a joke and it was a reality that I wanted dearly._  
_When I realized that this was the future I truly wanted, I was scared. Not because it was you but because for the first time I felt vulnerable. Vulnerable to feel something so great for another person._  
_I grew up abandoned by the people who were suppose to care for me the most and to have you in my life was something so special. I wanted us far too much._  
_I never wanted to admit how much I truly wanted our future, especially in the end of our relationship. But the truth is, there’s nothing more I’d want in this world than to build a future with you in it._  
_\- Rey_

**Author's Note:**

> To my best friend -- Happy Birthday. Thanks for believing me as I pursued something way out of my comfort zone.


End file.
